After reading through your answers to the survey about obstacles and frustrations in your horsemanship. I was struck by the number of references to time and money. I have had a while now to ponder your answers and what I noticed was what was lurking behind your comments.
Time and money are not really emotional or mental blocks but rather a matter of priorities, and let’s face it, in one sense, we all have a limited amount of time and money. There seems to be a growing number of things that compete for our attention, which then causes the feeling of being “out of control”. If you don’t have control of your time and money, you don’t have control of your horsemanship journey and sad to say when it gets to this point you have little control of your horses either.
I believe there are two huge consequences lurking behind the feeling of not being in control; guilt and stress. Let me ask you a few questions. Do you feel guilty when you can’t spend time with your horse because of other obligations? Now let’s turn that around. Do you feel guilty when you are with your horse and you know there is something else you need to be doing?
Are there times that you sneak a little extra money for your horsey pursuits and later feel guilty about it? Or maybe you go out with the family for a fun time but wished you could have used that money for a horse related outing. Wow, how’s that for a double edged sword.
The more things in your life that are conflicting the more the stress level goes up, and there seems to be no end in sight. So, you look to your horses to relieve the stress but then feel guilty because at that very moment you feel like someone is looking for you.
Taking control of your time and money comes down to making new decisions. It’s the indecision that zaps you of your strength and your joy. In clinics I tell my students “make a decision with confidence and do something even if it’s wrong, then correct course if need be.” When you are in the middle of chaos it is hard to think clearly. Simply make a decision like one of these.
~ I choose to spend time with my horse today because I want to and it makes me happy. My other responsibilities can wait.
~ I decided to spend time with my aging mother today and my horses are fine without me.
~ I decided to spend my money to take the kids somewhere fun instead of horsemanship lessons. There will be other opportunities for me to expand my horsemanship learning.
Make a decision and stick with it with confidence. It’s OK. Don’t feel guilty or stressed, live in the moment and if you need to make a different decision next time do so. You need to deliberately direct your own choices to give yourself control and thus, relieve the guilt and stress that are robbing you of your energy and joy.
If you always try to squeeze everything in, you won’t enjoy anything and sadly all you will feel is stress and guilt. Maybe it’s time to make some changes, maybe spending more or less horse time or maybe it’s time to tell the kid’s they need to fix their own dinner. I don’t know what it is, that’s your decision but it must be made, and the sooner the better.
Don’t let stress and guilt keep creeping into your horsemanship journey. Make a new decision today.
Please share a comment and let me know if this rings true with you.